Monday, 24 October 2011


I am the assistant service co-ordinator in my branch. The service co-ordinator is on maternity leave, so I'm more or less the co-ordinator for now. Some of my responsibilities include ensuring that my colleagues dress appropriately in line with the bank's dresscode, ensuring that prompt and efficient service delivery is given to customers, ensuring that the environment and banking hall is always neat, that customer complaints are handled professionally and the problem solved. You all get the drift abi.

Every thursday morning, we hold a meeting to deliberate on any branch issues, achievements, train ourselves, etc. This meeting is applicable bankwide. Thursdays are not my favourite days because I have to wake up extra early to make it for the meeting. Lateness or absenteeism from the meeting without any cogent reason attracts a sanction. And been the service co-ordinator, I have to set a good example. At the end of the meeting, the secretary: *Laura* sends the minutes to me to edit before I forward same to our service management group. Sounds pretty easy right, WRONGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!

The mere thought of editing the minutes just makes me tired. Once *Laura* sends it to my mail and I open it, it's almost as if the errors in it just pop out chanting *lalalalala, it's time to give you a headache, lalalalala*. :-(. I'm not saying that I'm perfect in English o, but *Laura's* errors make me shudder. Everyone is allowed to make the occassional error now and then, but when it becomes FULL BLOWN AND CONSTANT, then there is a problem.

She writes almost all through in small letters and omits basic punctuations. She just writes long sentences and jumbles everything up. It's difficult to say where one sentence ends and another begins. *phew*. If I wasn't there for the meeting, I would not have any idea of what she typed in the minutes. It gets so bad that I have to reread a sentence over and over again to grasp what she is trying to say. I read sentences like:

 "the poor elimination of the banking hall is very poor and does not befit a banking hall", "you need to volunteer your time by working with an extra time especially when you have pending work to do at your working place", "the link in his office is going on and off due to the foltty pot", "the security men should make sure that all customers who walk into the branch to see any officer should not just be allowed to walk passed them and barge into the staff office without prior information to the staff concern".

 SAY WHATTTTTTT........... Let me spare you all the horror. This is actually just a tip of what I have to edit every week.

Sometimes, my colleagues help me to edit it, but most of the time, they are occupied with their different duties. One day I was gisting with a colleague of mine and he said he attended the same school with *Laura*. Oh, really, I said, so what course did she study? He responded: SECRETARIAL STUDIES. I just smiled and said, that's nice o. But in my mind, I'm saying, you don't say.

 As soon as she sends the minutes to me, she starts to disturb me. *Laura* would see me going to eat and ask, Che, have you seen the minutes I sent to you? I would nod at her and say, Yes I have. I will work on it as soon as I'm less busy. She would see me later in the day and remind me 2 or 3 times again. *insert very tired look*. Madam, I don hear na. I'm trying to psyche myself to edit it. Abi you think say na beans?

Sometimes, I think she knows about the errors she makes. Maybe that is why she constantly reminds me to edit the minutes and help save her face. I feel sorry for her and have often wondered if I should tell her or not. So far, I have decided against it because people can be funny. We are not friends like that, just colleagues. She might take it the wrong way, and I no want wahala. Or what do you guys think?


  1. HA! U are soo on your own! U better tell her! For someone who studied secretarial studies, that is just pathetic and dismal. I love when people come up with the excuse of "it's not my first language." U say gini?! English is Nigeria's official language so people, especially those who have aspirations of holding blue-collar jobs better make an effort to understand, write and speak it to a reasonable level.....*wait, does Dangote even understand/speak English? *shrug*
    Anyway, I think you should talk to her about it and advise her to utilize the spell check...She needs to know that the red underlines (flags) on MS Word is not for aesthetic. She needs to make an effort or you may as well just write your minutes yourself...abi which one be double wahala?!

  2. lol. just be nice and correct her in love *dodgeafist*. lmao. Fragilelooks

  3. Che, you need to volunteer your time by working with her an extra time!!! LOL!!!!!!!!

    That cracked me up!

    I would say talk to her but people can be funny oh and you may end up looking like a bad person so my suggestion would be maybe organise a course for her and other people to take as part of training or something....

  4. Her case don pass be careful. at the end of it all she probably has a godfather somewhere so she wont even bother improving SMH!

  5. How on earth do u correct someone who has come this far without the person taking it the wrong way??? Thing is it is very difficult to teach a grown up English language and trust me, she will take it the very wrong way if u say anything about it to her. She will tell everyone u called her a 'dundee' and that she never knew u were this wicked (stuff like that, trust me, i have seen it happen). I feel ur pain, cos i know (1st hand) that correcting someone's work is much worse and more stressful than doing the work urself. I would suggest, u take the minutes of the meeting urself, and submit YOUR OWN minutes. Dont bother telling her to stop taking the minutes, let her continue, but take ur own. And at the end, just forward urs to all concerned. Since u end up re-writing hers, i am sure she wouldnt even know u didnt use hers. When she forwards u her own, just click on that wonderful 'delete' button and save urself the trauma!!!

  6. lol@Amaka's notepad comments...lovely piece following.

  7. Dang!!! There is something very "foltty" with Laura's English mehn. Hugs for u but i think i'll go with Amaka's Notepad. There is definitely a Godfather somewhere close. smh

  8. I blame it on the degradation of the educational system of our nation.Trust me,Laura is fluent when matched with countless other people.I know people who can't speak nor write in simple correct English,and yes,they are graduates.

  9. "the link in his office is going on and off due to the foltty pot"
    lmho, i can't even figure out what it means. My dear, just carry your cross quietly and jejely, may the Lord be your strength.

  10. You will be taking vacation time next week abi? She will expose herself when she has to send the minutes out on her own. It is such a pity that people who claim to have gone to higher still commit blunders that even a high school student shouldn't commit

  11. After reading that snippet, I'm wondering if it's not better for you to take your own notes, lol...

    I don't think you should tell her sha. You know how these office politics can be.

  12. @ HoneyDame: lwkmd @ "does Dangote even understand English", & "the red flags on MS Word is not for aesthetic". It would be difficult to take down the minutes myself cos I'm co-ordinating the meeting and that on it's own is tasking (trust me). Thanks for the advice babe.

    @ Anonymous: Why the *dodgeafist* after your advice. ;-).

    @ Gee: Organise a course e kwa. That sounds like it would be worse sef than correcting her. Me i no fit oooo. Thanks babe.

    @ P.E.T Projects: True about the godfather thingy. Dey no dey write am for face.

    @ Amaka's Notepad: Thanks babe. I sure don't want to be labelled Prof. of English cos I tried to help someone. I so like that wonderful button *delete*.:-).

    @ smoothasgranite: Thanks man.

    @ Toinlicious: Yelzzz o. I no fit shout abeg.

    @ A-9ja-Great: It's really sad how bad our educational system has become. Thankfully, she can speak fluently.

    @ dosh: You just read those lines again and I'm sure you will get what she was trying to say. :-D. Amen and thanks for stopping by.

    @ Okeoghene: I really needed the vacation. I hope she got someone to assist her in editing the minutes though.

    @ Myne Whitman: I have decided not to tell her at least for now. Office politics can be crazy. Maybe, if I'm transferred or resign, then I would tell her gently.


  13. Thanks to all my new followers and a special thank you to my silent followers. ( I used to be like you guys once upon a time). It was so much fun to just navigate through various blogs and read with glee. ;-D. Still appreciate you all and I can't wait for you to make yourselves visible. Let's rub minds together. *hugsssss and kisses*.

  14. Tell her... Don't tell her... Tell her.. Don't
    Che(your name sounded guerrilla like so i dropped in to navigate silently until i read this post), if you want her not to burden you exceedingly above mush(lol) than you think or wish for, tell her with style and panache especially since you feel she knows her minutes are not secretarial enough for someone who is supposed to be a professional secretary.. Taking minutes is no fun( i know from experience)but having to edit someone's copy is tasking enough.. I think she wants you to take her under your wings or she wants you to do her job for her..As for me, no slacking as i don't get paid to add your work load to mine... i will tell her or get her a brand new copy of BRIGHTER GRAMMAR and Eze goes to school..

  15. LMAO @ Da Injurer's comment...If Brighter Grammar and Eze goes to School dont do it, add MAPEC and Intensive English to it. If those still don't cut it, then she needs deliverance!
    No be small matter sha..Ndo

  16. @ Da Injurer: You've got an interesting name(wondering how you came about it). Lol @ using the bible quote to state your point. You are right about it been tasking to edit someone's minutes. hehehehehe @ getting her those books. You wan make them brand me I.T.K. haaaaa, noooo. Thanks for the advice though. I will decide on my next course of action when i resume work moro. Thanks a lot for stopping by. Hope to see more of you.

    @ HoneyDame: Lwkmd. Babe, make you and Da Injurer no put me for trouble o.