THIS ENGLISH SEF...........

I am the assistant service co-ordinator in my branch. The service co-ordinator is on maternity leave, so I'm more or less the co-ordinator for now. Some of my responsibilities include ensuring that my colleagues dress appropriately in line with the bank's dresscode, ensuring that prompt and efficient service delivery is given to customers, ensuring that the environment and banking hall is always neat, that customer complaints are handled professionally and the problem solved. You all get the drift abi.

Every thursday morning, we hold a meeting to deliberate on any branch issues, achievements, train ourselves, etc. This meeting is applicable bankwide. Thursdays are not my favourite days because I have to wake up extra early to make it for the meeting. Lateness or absenteeism from the meeting without any cogent reason attracts a sanction. And been the service co-ordinator, I have to set a good example. At the end of the meeting, the secretary: *Laura* sends the minutes to me to edit before I forward same to our service management group. Sounds pretty easy right, WRONGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!

The mere thought of editing the minutes just makes me tired. Once *Laura* sends it to my mail and I open it, it's almost as if the errors in it just pop out chanting *lalalalala, it's time to give you a headache, lalalalala*. :-(. I'm not saying that I'm perfect in English o, but *Laura's* errors make me shudder. Everyone is allowed to make the occassional error now and then, but when it becomes FULL BLOWN AND CONSTANT, then there is a problem.

She writes almost all through in small letters and omits basic punctuations. She just writes long sentences and jumbles everything up. It's difficult to say where one sentence ends and another begins. *phew*. If I wasn't there for the meeting, I would not have any idea of what she typed in the minutes. It gets so bad that I have to reread a sentence over and over again to grasp what she is trying to say. I read sentences like:

 "the poor elimination of the banking hall is very poor and does not befit a banking hall", "you need to volunteer your time by working with an extra time especially when you have pending work to do at your working place", "the link in his office is going on and off due to the foltty pot", "the security men should make sure that all customers who walk into the branch to see any officer should not just be allowed to walk passed them and barge into the staff office without prior information to the staff concern".

 SAY WHATTTTTTT........... Let me spare you all the horror. This is actually just a tip of what I have to edit every week.

Sometimes, my colleagues help me to edit it, but most of the time, they are occupied with their different duties. One day I was gisting with a colleague of mine and he said he attended the same school with *Laura*. Oh, really, I said, so what course did she study? He responded: SECRETARIAL STUDIES. I just smiled and said, that's nice o. But in my mind, I'm saying, you don't say.

 As soon as she sends the minutes to me, she starts to disturb me. *Laura* would see me going to eat and ask, Che, have you seen the minutes I sent to you? I would nod at her and say, Yes I have. I will work on it as soon as I'm less busy. She would see me later in the day and remind me 2 or 3 times again. *insert very tired look*. Madam, I don hear na. I'm trying to psyche myself to edit it. Abi you think say na beans?

Sometimes, I think she knows about the errors she makes. Maybe that is why she constantly reminds me to edit the minutes and help save her face. I feel sorry for her and have often wondered if I should tell her or not. So far, I have decided against it because people can be funny. We are not friends like that, just colleagues. She might take it the wrong way, and I no want wahala. Or what do you guys think?